Stripped from the bowels of my friends' Facebook posts and other insanity that comes out of my head

Sunday, August 26, 2012

When Zoomies Go Bad

Huskies + Zoomies + expensive electronics = broken

*animals *accidents

Scaredy Cat

My friend's 13 year old cat escaped the house and proceeded to terrify small children (wimps)

*animals

The Gift of Moles

"One of the dogs left me a gift on my pillow... a mole"

*animals

Never Underestimate the Power

A friend discovered the power of a Dyson vacuum when the wand came too close to her foot.

*accidents

Treadmills Are Tricky

"Fell off the treadmill at the gym"

*accidents

Bras

"I HATE shopping for bras, it's so confusing"

*life

Don't get me started on why there is a need for Garanimals for adults

Idiom Diet

When my friend said her diet made her feel full of piss and vinegar... I sorta misunderstood

*life

Simple

"I wish there was an easier way to sew a button on a pair of pants"

Tah DAH!

*inventions

Good Morning

"This morning I woke up and the cat was sucking on my toes"

*animals

Be Specific

When you post that you are hungry enough to eat an arm... seriously, you expect me to let that one go?

*life

Better To Give Than Receive

Sometimes when you ask your dog to "give" up what it found, you may not like what you get

*animals

Naughty Kitteh!

Some cats just don't know their limits... this is one of them

*animals

Naughty By Nature

Another quirk of the Siberian Husky is to try anything to freak out their owners... like climbing into trees

*animals

Shoveller Beware

When there is a lot of snow on the roof, things happen

*accidents

A Normal Husky Morning

As most Siberian Husky owners will attest to, some mornings mean chasing down and retrieving random bunny bits when one dares to enter the yard, and that typically means sprinting around in a robe.


*animals

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Why I Never Get Promoted

When I'm stressed at work, I chew on my lip, which causes a sore (duh)
I found some awesome dental goo in the work medicine cabinet, numbed my mouth right up
I started eating a bagel
Since my mouth was numb, I didn't realize I had bitten the crap out of my lip
A co-worker comes by to chat

*work *life

Dog Bone Slide

What happens when you unwittingly step on a nylon dog bone

*animals *life

Rat On Your Head

A friend was getting her hair cut: "My stylist said: I need to get some wrap to put on your head," but I swear it sounded like "rat on your head."

 *animals *life

On The Beach

My friend's Malamute experiences the beach for the first time

*animals

Tripping

A common occurrence with my friends: tripping over pets

 
*animals *accidents

Steers Affair

"The company in the next building over us having some kind of outside steers affair... Wonder if they would notice if I got in line" (steers was suppose to be staff)

*autocorrect

Perfectly Suited

Just seems like the perfect employment match


*zombies

Face Plant

A relaxing run with the dogs turns muddy


*animals *life

Fetch This

"Just flashed the neighbors.  Was out throwing ball and squirrel for the pups and one pulled down my skirt when he snagged his squirrel during a fly-by."


*animals *life

Bralympics

A friend wrote: "I hung my laundry on my second story line. One bra strap got tangled in the tree and when I tried to move the line, it got stuck in the tree like an ornament. It's higher than originally thought...about 20 feet up."

Since this happened during the Olympics, her attempts to get it down...





No bras were injured in the making of this series, and throwing a rake up finally snagged and brought it down.

*life

Do It Yourself Varmint Control

"Raccoons in the bathroom ceiling... trying to get rid of them... armed with a shower curtain rod..."

The next logical conclusion


*life *animals

Elvis Has Left the Building

A truck driver at a friend's workplace dresses, talks, and acts just like Elvis and hits on her assistant.
For some reason he was talking about wild boars, and despite trying to leave, Elvis followed.


*work

Friday, August 24, 2012

Good Aim

A friend's dog managed to show his displeasure of the neighborhood cat from the balcony of their home


*animals

Roast Interception

Technique for keeping the cat away from the dinner roast


*animals

Mice Couple

A friend posted how a mice couple gave them coupons to use at a local eatery


*autocorrect

Slipper Trick

While walking in the yard, a friend lost her slipper, only to turn around to find...


*poop *animals

Poo Bucket

After scooping her dog yard, a friend tried to tip the full poop bucket over the fence


Cast Pan

When complaining about how difficult it was to sweep while wearing a cast, a new invention is born

*inventions

Soy Chair Latte

While waiting out a bad storm that took out her gazebo, one friend commented on the relaxing properties of Soy Chair Latte*


*Autocorrect fail

Monday, August 20, 2012

Took Myself to Lunch*


*Why the absence of words sometimes matter a whole lot when trying to describe that one of your dogs took a poop in the house while you were gone.

poop
animals

Big Ass Flies

"I'm really sick of these big ass flies in my house"


*animals