Stripped from the bowels of my friends' Facebook posts and other insanity that comes out of my head

Sunday, March 15, 2015


By popular demand... Hoverers.

Women who hover over the toilet seat to pee, and invariably pee all over the seat.

STOP IT!!!!!!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Bathroom Stall Rules

There needs to be a rule for all public bathrooms.

Stall doors, when not occupied, need to be open.  Even if it's a small crack, they need to clearly demonstrate that the stall is not occupied, versus fully closed doors that denote they are occupied.

I'm tired of going into public bathrooms where all of the stalls are closed.

This clearly shows that all stalls are fully loaded and you must wait.

You shouldn't be required to lean down and walk the length of the stalls to look for feet to find an empty stall.

You shouldn't be expected to stand there like an idiot and wait for someone to come out when actually there's nobody in the stalls and you look like a total idiot when the person behind you passes and walks into a stall after pushing on doors.

This "pushing on the doors" thing is risky, because most public restrooms have broken latches.  I have no idea why the latches are broken, I can't imagine what sort of gastro-intestinal evacuation emergency would cause someone to flee the stall in such a manner that they rip the latch off the door.

I also can't imagine the gastro-intestinal emergency that would cause someone to kick the door into an already locked and occupied stall... well, maybe I could.

Invariably, I'm ALWAYS in the stall with the broken latch, and when a person comes in and performs the pushing on the door routine and then this happens

There needs to be a rule.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Make Over

Lately I've been watching a lot of those Make-Over shows.  They're the ones where friends or family drag them on the show because they look like someone out of Hoarders.

Typically the poor schlump they make over admits that they've "just given up".

Just now I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and saw that I had some chocolate on my mouth.  I rubbed it off my face and then wiped it on my shirt.

I just want to say that I would prefer you nominate me for "Love, Lust, or Run" because I really like Stacy London... just sayin.