Stripped from the bowels of my friends' Facebook posts and other insanity that comes out of my head

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Sinus Drawers

I, and a lot of my friends, suffer from weather-related sinus issues.

There's really nothing better than having your sinuses feel as though they are about to explode, cause that glorious ice-pick in the eye pain, and general nausea.

So far, the only options are:

  • hand full of drugs (that don't really help)
  • Neti Pot (euuuuuuuuuuuuuuw)
  • Saline sprays
  • More drugs
  • Gouging your eye out with an actual ice pick
  • Shoving a drain snake up your nose
My solution is © Sinus Drawers (patent pending)

In a simple procedure, trained surgeons will install fashionable and stylish drawers in your sinus cavities.  You can even choose the style of your drawer and the hardware for the drawer pullers.  Easy to update as styles change, all you need to do when your sinuses are all stopped up and won't drain is to pull the drawer out and empty.

These drawers could also be used to store valuables (because who wants valuables covered in snot, am I right?).

If you get a cold or the flu, then all you need to do is attach the optional © Sinus Slides, so all of that gunk just rolls out onto the slide and into the also optional © Sinus Baggy.  No more blowing your nose endlessly, just make sure your © Sinus Baggy is connected and head on into work!

Coming soon to a strip mall near you!