Stripped from the bowels of my friends' Facebook posts and other insanity that comes out of my head

Sunday, November 20, 2022

Pawdicure

 Yesterday was pawdicure day. 

Bleeder has been complaining about how rough my pads were, and that my talons were getting a bit longer and sharper, so we all got our pants on and jumped into my Tesla.

I was very pleased to find a new addition to my swanky ride: a foamy back seat extender!


My foamy back seat extender gives me WAY more room to stretch out, sprawl, and allows me to supervise Toast as he drives without having to stand up, or back legs on seat, front legs on floor. That's not comfortable!


 THIS is comfortable, and I may have napped a bit on the way home. Pawdicures are exhausting. 

I was also the most adorable pupper in the clinic... until that stupid bunny came in, but I wasn't allowed to look at the bunny, be near the bunny, or even think about the bunny. I did get a lot of love and attention from random people, and I didn't even jump up on them.

I didn't want to go into the back room this time, and honestly I just didn't feel like going into the building... something about the scale... I don't want to be weighed. I get judged a lot after it pings up its number. The scale lies.

Bleeder has been watching this guy on the Instagrams and highly recommends that you humans do too. I don't recommend you watch it, as it is nothing but training stuff for dogs. When I say training stuff for dogs, it's not: How to grab that bacon off the counter, or How to get the fridge open to reach the cheese sticks. It's all: How to stop your working breed from working and hauling you down the street on your face while you scream.

The one thing I do agree on is the large amount of treating involved in training. I need to be motivated, what is my motivation... treats. Bleeder does say that I'm behaving much better on leash and she doesn't require a heating pad and Tylenol after we go for walks any more.

Since I was such a good pupper yesterday, and because it is Sunday, it's Pancake Sunday!!


Then I spent the morning eviscerating my squeaky toy. It was a beaver, but I ripped the tail off already.


Don't even think about trying to take it away from me!

Sunday, November 13, 2022

I Hurt Myself

 Hey... I hurt my right front leg. 

Apparently I got a little too exuberant during play this morning, and now I'm limping. Bleeder thinks it's the shoulder. Bleeder thinks I "tweaked" something. Bleeder is a horrible person for not rushing me to the Vet ER for immediate treatment and a McDonalds plain burger on the way home. Toast said "that's what happens when you race through the house like a crazed weasel when the Dyson vacuum comes out". Bleeder mentioned that I probably stepped in one of the millions of little holes I've dig-dugged. I live with monsters.

Sure, I can run down the deck stairs and chase a squirrel without a problem. I can also use it to claw Bleeder when she's not sharing her pop tart quick enough. My only bartering tool is that I'm very stoic about it... when huskies are stoic, it's usually catastrophic, and when it's nothing, we scream like banshees. This makes Bleeder and Toast "concerned", and taking a "wait and see" approach. 

I'm pretty sure, regardless, I'll be making a trip to the vet just to get checked out, but in the meantime I'm milking this for all I can get.

Why don't you go inside and get me a tasty treat since I can't walk


Sunday, November 6, 2022

Leaves

 We seem to be back in summer again as Bleeder keeps turning the A/C on. It's over 70 degrees here and rainy. This isn't what I signed on for. I expect cold and snow.

The one fun thing about this "fall" weather are the leaves. LOTS and LOTS of leaves. There are so many leaves that Bleeder started raking them into these amazingly fun piles that allow me to race into them and spread them all over the place. Bleeder rakes, I frolic. Bleeder rakes, and I zoom, spin, and skitter... and then inhale a leaf and gack it out using the patented, alarming coughing and retching sound that sends Bleeder scurrying over to make sure I'm fine. 



It also doesn't make things any better when Bleeder kicks the leaves at me to attack, they go into my mouth, gack.

I do assist with raking by using my handy ring



Leaves are great places to rip a soccer ball into pieces. It's soft and comforting, and holds the ball in place for that perfect eviscerating action.


When leaves get wet... well, they aren't as fun, but they're still very comfy to lay on... until I come back inside the Bleeder has to towel me off because I'm sopping wet.

I also managed to freak them both out when Bleeder found some crusty gunk on my belly. They thought I had hurt myself, but it was just some dead thing dried gunk, but the funny part is that Bleeder actually smelled it when she picked some of it off. I got distracted with a squeaky toy so she could mop me off with a wet wash rag.

This weekend some work people came to the house and I got to supervise them from my crate. They pulled off my dog door, replaced all of the outside trim, squished stinky caulk around the outside and inside, and then reinstalled my dog door. The last people that did it clearly had no clue how to hang a door as it wouldn't shut right, but my door worked perfectly. Bleeder and Toast are getting used to not having to shove the door open with a big clang, then slam it shut with an even louder clang with half the door top sticking out of the frame for the past 4 months. Bleeder stands and watches the door close in amazement every time, she's crazy and easily amused.

As today was waffle Sunday, I'm a bit sleepy, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking a short nap before my pre-lunch skitter.