"My morning newspaper was under a bush.  In my  jammies, I stepped down to get it and fell about 3 feet, hitting and  knocking over my angel statue and landing in the bush.  It's cold &  raining so I got covered in mud & leaves.  Just as I was getting up,  the Insight repairman walked up to my door.  I'm going back to bed."
 *life *accidents
 

