Stripped from the bowels of my friends' Facebook posts and other insanity that comes out of my head

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Lint Pants

The other day I ventured to the store to buy another pair of black pants.  After purging my closets I realized that black, gray, and brown are my primary colors, and since I only had one pair of black pants, and one pair of brown pants, I would need two more pairs of pants in order to cover my 4-day work week without wearing the same pair twice in a week... any longer.

Off to the big box store I went.  I pretty much shop like this:

1.) Go to the same place I got stuff before
2.) Grab the size I need
3.) Run to the checkout lane

I also needed underwear, but that's a separate rant, but as usual, I went, I grabbed the pants (1 black, 1 brown) and after the underwear fiasco, ran to the checkout counter, paid and fled the store.

New pants go into the wash, hung up, and now wait for Monday, at which time I grab the black pants, put them on along with a new sweater that I got a while back and head to work.

It was the moment I got out of the car at work that I realized that the pants were different than the ones I had bought before.  The original pair seemed quite fur and lint proof (which is why I bought them).  The new ones, on the other hand, appeared to be created from the same material used on those fancy reusable lint brushes.

Exhibit A: Fancy Lint Brush
Additionally, the new long sweater that I was wearing appeared to be knitted using lint from the dryer, and it had lovingly deposited half of a pound of lint on my pants... along with a huge tuft of dog fur I hadn't noticed that probably came from dragging the pant leg on the floor while getting dressed.

Go into work and grab the handy lint roller and begin rolling the lint off, except it seemed that the moment I cleared a swathe of pant, the sweater would deposit even more in its wake.

Gave up.

Then my client called and asked if I could come over and have a meeting.

Um... sure.

By the time I got to the client office, I was literally covered in more debris, not only from the sweater, but I'm sure from the shuttle bus seat, random things floating in the breeze, and whatever I happened to walk near enough.  It was as if the pants had their own gravitational force to suck objects onto them.

By the time I got to my meeting...

Thankfully my clients know I'm a mess and expect things like this.